The Cross was for Judas?

This morning as I was doing my devotional, I was thinking about Judas Iscariot.

I know we often see Judas as just a greedy traitor, an opportunist, as an enemy of Jesus...but I was inclined to consider a different side of Judas.  As I thought about Judas, I couldn't help but feel pity and sad about how this guy lived out his life.  I don't sympathize with him in a way that would excuse his sin...because I know what he did was messed up.  But laying aside his obvious downfall, I think Judas was someone who was deeply confused and disconnected from Jesus. I don't think that Judas always hated Jesus or premeditated on betraying Jesus from the very start.  Maybe I'm just naive and I see more good in people than the bad, but I can't imagine Judas as someone who was just purely evil from the start.  Considering the fact that he followed Jesus around for the entirety of his ministry, I like to believe that Judas perhaps loved Jesus or was attracted to Jesus at one point.  Something must have caused him to be interested in Jesus because he decided to become a disciple.  He must have expected something good to come from following him...

Maybe that was the problem with Judas.  His expectation of "something good" that was to come from following Jesus was maybe different from what Jesus considered good.  I think somewhere during Jesus' ministry, Judas began to be disconnected from Jesus and the two were not on the same page. Judas didn't understand Jesus and because he didn't understand him, he probably disapproved of the things Jesus did, maybe disapproved the people who Jesus spent time with, maybe even disapproved that Jesus was different from what he had initially expected him to be.  Judas didn't share the same heart with Jesus.  I think somewhere during the course of Jesus' ministry, Judas lost focus on Jesus' mission and was probably confused and frustrated whenever Jesus was going in a different direction than what Judas thought was "right."

Seeing Judas in this light scares me. It scares me because I think I am just as vulnerable in becoming disconnected from Jesus and doing something that is far from what He wants.  I think as Christians (or more so as ministers), we think as long as we're in church and "doing ministry" we're going the right way...but seeing Judas, it is very apparent that you can still go the wrong way in ministry if you are not seeking after the heart of Christ.  I realize that it is so crucial for myself, as well as all those who are doing the work of Christ, to constantly check ourselves and connect with Christ.  We must always ask Jesus if we're going the right way and ask Jesus to reveal his heart. Yes, we will make mistakes...but it is better to make mistakes while following Jesus rather than making no mistakes and following something other than Jesus.        

How much did it grieve Jesus to see Judas go the wrong way?  Jesus knew Judas, he knew that Judas would betray him; yet he allowed Judas to remain a disciple...even washed his feet the night before his betrayal because maybe Jesus was waiting for Judas to come back??

Poor Judas. If he had only known who Jesus really was...if he had known the heart of Jesus, he probably didn't have to live such a bitter life...a life of anger, disappointment, disconnection, and loneliness. When he finally removed himself from Jesus and deliberately went the other way, he probably found that his life was empty, broken, and dead.  Overwhelmed by his failure and shame, he foolishly took his own life...ignorant that the cross of Christ was actually for such broken sinners like him.

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
And make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the man upon the cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom


- Stuart Townend ("How Deep the Father's Love for Us")